I have always wanted to write this article. I have seen so many people seek vocational happiness but never quite get there. Why? It is because they didn’t have the right partner by their side supporting, loving, nurturing, and growing with them. It is difficult to achieve bliss in ones work if we are alone. We don’t need 500 friends on social media. We need just one person who we can share with, laugh with, and experience with.
How do you find this one person?
Ask yourself, what must this person have? What is most important for you in a relationship? Only you can answer this question. It is all very subjective. What would be nice if this person had? These criteria must be written by you. Otherwise you may go through life in a relationship prison without the proper key to escape into the sunlight.
What is important in a lifelong relationship?
While very subjective, I will of course give you my view. You should be attracted to your partner not just on the outside but on the inside as well. Does this person share your values and vision of life? Do you have fun together? Do you support each other? Do you know each other on a deep level? Are you able to compromise when needed? Do you want to share all what is important to you in your life?
The right relationship and the influence of work
I have observed in my work that behind every person who is reaching their goals is a life-time partner who nurtures them. This can be a wife, husband, partner, friend, girlfriend… the labels don’t matter. The commitment and support does. This should be a two way commitment with both people giving equally to the relationship. One sided relationship doesn’t last long. Both people must support each other’s growth and happiness. Some of us are fortunate and find the life partner the first time around. For others this can take a series of long-term relationships before the person can know him or herself deep enough to choose the right partner.
Examine your situation
What is working well? Continue to focus on making the relationship thrive. This means making your partner’s priorities and development also your priorities. Nurture the relationship and you both will grow. Invest the time and energy to know yourself at a deep level. This includes defining a roadmap for your life which incorporates your purpose and goals which align to your most important values. Integrate this roadmap with the most important person in your life. The most hours you will spend in your life are through your work. Make sure that your are clear about which work you enjoy and can do a lifetime. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, determine if it can be made healthy. Examine together which barriers get in the way. Determine if you want to make this investment. If not, it might be time for a change.
The right relationship contributes to greater joy, greater energy, and greater appreciation of your life. Life moves quickly; so, make your work and your relationship work perfectly for you now!
I’ll be cheering you on as you go!
Craig Nathanson
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