Have you ever stopped to think about the people who helped you grow the most?

Chances are they weren’t the people who constantly told you what to do.

They were the people who listened.

They asked thoughtful questions.

They encouraged you when you doubted yourself.

And somehow, they helped you become a better version of yourself.

That’s coaching.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that many new managers believe leadership means having the right answers. They feel pressure to solve every problem, make every decision, and provide direction at every turn.

I understand why.

I used to think that way too.

But after leading people for many years, I discovered something much more powerful.

Great leaders don’t spend their time creating followers.

They spend their time developing people.

Managing and Coaching Are Different

Both managing and coaching are essential.

Managing focuses on the work.

Coaching focuses on the person doing the work.

Managers organize projects, establish priorities, allocate resources, and make sure goals are achieved.

Coaches help people learn, grow, and become more confident.

Imagine a sports team traveling to an important game.

Someone has to drive the bus safely to the destination.

That’s management.

Someone else is helping players prepare mentally, encouraging them, answering questions, building confidence, and making sure everyone is ready to perform.

That’s coaching.

Organizations need both.

Without management, work becomes chaotic.

Without coaching, people stop growing.

The best leaders learn how to do both.

Coaching Begins with Curiosity

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is believing they need to solve every problem themselves.

Coaching begins by doing the opposite.

Instead of immediately giving advice, great coaches become curious.

They ask questions such as:

“What do you think?”

“What options have you considered?”

“What would success look like?”

“How can I help?”

Those questions accomplish something powerful.

They help people think.

And when people discover solutions themselves, they are much more likely to learn from the experience and apply those lessons again in the future.

A Coaching Conversation

Early in my leadership career, I worked with an employee who had missed an important deadline.

A traditional manager might have immediately focused on the mistake.

Instead, I asked what had happened.

As we talked, I learned that the missed deadline was only part of a much larger story. The employee was dealing with significant challenges outside of work while doing everything possible to remain committed to the organization.

Our conversation changed completely.

Instead of discussing punishment, we discussed support.

Instead of assigning blame, we developed a plan.

The work was completed.

More importantly, trust grew stronger.

That experience reminded me that coaching always begins with understanding before evaluating.

Coaching Takes Time

Coaching isn’t always the fastest approach.

Sometimes it’s quicker to simply give the answer.

But quick answers rarely produce long-term growth.

Coaching requires patience.

It requires listening.

It requires believing that people are capable of more than they sometimes believe themselves.

Over time, that investment pays remarkable dividends.

Employees become more confident.

They solve problems independently.

They support one another.

Eventually, they begin coaching others.

That’s how healthy organizations grow.

Three Habits of Great Coaches

After many years of leading people, I’ve found that great coaches consistently demonstrate three simple behaviors.

First, they listen before speaking.

They seek understanding before offering advice.

Second, they provide feedback instead of judgment.

Their goal is development, not criticism.

Finally, they ask questions that encourage reflection rather than dependence.

The best coaches don’t create people who constantly need answers.

They develop people who learn how to think for themselves.

Final Thoughts

Looking back, I no longer believe leadership is primarily about directing people.

I believe it’s about developing people.

Every conversation is an opportunity.

Every question is an opportunity.

Every coaching moment is an opportunity to help another person become a little more confident, a little more capable, and a little more prepared for whatever comes next.

Some of the greatest leaders I’ve known weren’t remembered because they had all the answers.

They were remembered because they helped other people discover their own.

That is the lasting impact of coaching.

And perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts a leader can give.

Originally published May 2016.

Updated July 2026 to reflect my current thinking on coaching, leadership development, humanistic leadership, and helping people grow in today’s AI-assisted workplace.